Saturday, February 25, 2012

God clarifies his position about Religion at last! God called me on my phone.


I had a brief phone call from heaven. God wants to issue his official statement to clarify his position about religion once and for all. Here is a MonkeySocietyblog exclusive:

I, the Almighty God, have no bitter feelings against religion. I want emphasis on that this early. I want religion to exist as long as possible. And I have reasons why:

First, though religion comes in varieties, it was really successful at UNIFYING the  people. The proof is that everyone is now unified in one mindset of genuinely screwing one another.

Each kind of religion claims the true God is in them. Then they  kill  each other over the idea. Killing became a holy passion in my name. Religion taught them so. And in cases wherein a man violated someone for personal reasons, his church taught him to just ask for forgiveness afterwards and everything will be just fine. Forgiveness of course comes in unlimited supply.