Saturday, June 16, 2012

My Early Journey to Here and Now


Mooji said, "I can never tell you who or what I AM. I can only tell you what I AM NOT".

For you who happens to stumble on this, you will feel in your heart what is it that you're reading. I don't need to explain because you will know it in yourself what we are trying to get into.  I want to tell the story how did I arrive here. Simple story. This may serve something or may serve not.

When I was young my Christian parents taught me to believe in God. I did well at it. I served in various church groups of equally God-believing youths. I believed that there was someone who sits in heavenly throne looking and taking care of us.

Everything changed after few years. Out of logical reasons, I came to a point I rejected the existence of God and was once even called evil by a church elderly. For several years, I was agnostic about this thing called God and Church. But never again spent a time debating with anyone who professed he's a die-hard fan of God. I kept my new-found "religion"  on my own. My parents tried to convince me to come back to the "flock", referring to the Church, but I had to politely ignore it by saying I will when time comes.

Then an unforgettable experience came several years after, one early morning while I was still on bed. I thought I was dreaming. I felt like I was pulled up by an intense vortex of blissful sensation. The color was sky blue. And the ecstasy was swirling in an unexplainable serenity. After that I spent one week of strange spiritual high. No problems just pure joy and happiness throughout the day for a week.

When the sensation had gone, I wondered what it was. So I begun to do some research about it to get back at it. My first key words at Google was "how to attain blissfulness". I encountered lots of new ideas like meditation music and guides, i-Doser sounds, etc; then Yoga and Buddha things. And slowly every thing fall in to each own place until I was directed into a website where I first met my online guru Mooji.

Last thing I know is that I am asking this question "WHO AM I?". I think, my self-searching really started on this question. The question was so simple but magical in nature for me. I was drawn into it. And this mind cannot resist to have the enquiry like a wheel that is going on an on an on.

And now here I ardent self-searcher. WHO AM I? You... who are you?
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