Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Guilt by Orgasm: A Wanker's Confession


When I was a teenager, I used to masturbate a lot everyday. My record is seven in one day. And I did get blisters on my penis. And when I shower and begun to use the soap, oh man, that really hurt a lot. But then at every chance in every corner I can find, my hand seems to have its own brain to wank my thing. Jacking-off is often the menu of the day back then.

I was a religious kid and a devoted member of a Christian sect. Every after masturbation I would pray for forgiveness of the sin (which I was thought it is) I have just committed. Imagine it's kinda a meal prayer before every meal. In my case I got it reversed. Jack-off first then pray. But then I grew bored. No. Not on masturbation. Rather, I got bored praying. So eventually I stopped praying and got myself into a masturbation spree everyday for a long time.

Honestly I don't masturbate anymore. Well, uhhhmmmm, I just lied. I still play my own thing. But minus the pray part already and certainly not as frequent. I am already a married man.

My focus now is to tackle the pray part. What made me did the praying? The answer is SIN. Inside every Christian church, I believe, there is a crusade happening. A crusade against lust. Lust is considered as a sin and could amount a ticket to Hell if someone dies with his lustful sins.

Sexual desire is considered lust by the church leaders. And since masturbation is an exhibition of this "sin", this activity should not be tolerated in order for followers to inherit the physical place called Heavens. With the promise of inheriting the Heavens in mind of every Church member, including me, everyone must weigh in themselves what habits they would choose. One is to jack-off or not to jack-off. As for ladies, the term jack-off is not appropriate. Their thing is too delicately small. It is more of like of stroking or fingering. But everything amounts to the same habit called masturbation.


The pray part was necessary for me to wash away my sin. I was taught that way. The rule is simple. everyone must have a clean life. And at moment it can't be done, asking for forgiveness is a very important. Violating the rule will result in the automatic feeling of guilt. This guilt feeling is not a good sensation. It is like cursing the own self why it did something it believes should not have done. Guilt was the reason why I did pray every after ejaculation. I need to feel free of guilt of violating a rule of clean living. But that's before.

Sexual Desire a Sin?

Come to think of it. Why does sexual desire have to called a sin? On what axiom they based that assertion? Stealing your neighbor's wife might be obviously offensive to her husband (but glorious to her) and worth a guillotine But hey what you gonna think about while wanking? A female martian? Trying to imagine how a martian vagina looks like would be a huge problem.

Since masturbation includes only a desire, as opposed to getting a quickie with a neighbor's lady, I can't imagine why some people would think sexual desire is not as natural as desiring for food when one is hungry. Humans got to be consistent on this one.

Masturbation is a Sin?

If masturbation is a sin, that would be the biggest reason why I will never stop doing it. My short answer is NO. 

Orgasm is the feeling associated whenever the one masturbating reach the peak of the activity. That is when the mind is blank, the tongue is tied, the eyeballs are tilted in abnormal direction, the jaw is locked, and the testicle is in its most contracted state. I forgot to mention the semen shooting out. Most of these conditions appear at every peak whether in masturbation or having a partner or having a wet dream. My question would then be: At what point does orgasm is different in each of the cases? NONE. Again, humans got to be consistent on this one.

I think I have amply justified why I need no prayers to wash away my sins after masturbating. There is no sin. Besides, sin is just a concept. What I need is a clean napkin to wipe my semen off.
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