I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist

I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist

I Am Aware, therefore I exist. Of course these are just words. I couldn't have possibly coined them in such fashion without first learning the language. Institutionalized learning also taught me to adhere to grammatical conventions.

No other question have ever bugged me my entire life than the question WHO AM I? I have desperately tried to look for an answer for a long long time. This is the question of existence itself. And I believe there is nothing more productive in life than to contemplate on this stubborn question.

The debate about existence is superficially deep in any side you will look it from. In every manner there is no escape from the fundamental deception posited in the Fallacy of Misplaced Concreteness, wherein conceptual framework is wholly taken as real i.e. resorting to words and intellect (which are products of conventions) and then struggling to explain reality (which is wordless) using these lingual conventions.

Intellect can infinitely assign labels for anything under the sun. There are words allotted for groups, races, preferences, color, degree of pleasure and pain and so on. The intellectual database has a vast array of concepts which can be used to refer to anything. Description is indeed ample.

But the problem is that words can only tell about something. It is not the thing. Words are dual in nature. A word is exclusive for something only. The dilemma then comes when one tries to look for one grand term to refer to the Groups of all groups. What term would that be? Reality? Nothingness? Everything? God? All-encompassing? Big electron? It can't be possible. Most of what we can end up to is surrender to the fundamentally simple idea that there is no term sufficient in itself to describe the one thing we can't.

So what is next?

The answer is intriguing. To put it as honestly as I can, there is NONE. But wait. Verbally it is none. The answer being sought is not another word, not another thought, and not another concept. The answer of WHO AM I? is nothing but an intuition

The answer is so simple. There can be no other way I can do anything without first being aware. Putting in a simpler manner, I can't be in here mumbling without first waking up in the morning. If I didn't, then I am not here. Since the only vantage point that can be verifiably true is my own standpoint and though onlookers may protest they have their own too, I can only assume that they have and there is no way for me to be in their space-time location to prove it. The thing is I am just aware. Nothing more. 

Therefore, to amply satisfy the mind I am cursed to use yet another insufficient term called Awareness. Thus,

I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist or I Am Aware, Therefore I Am .

 .

Mind is an Unending Rebuttal to Life.

Mind is an Unending Rebuttal to Life.

Mind will cease? It will not
It will not until you rot.
Dream loving, love dreaming
But it won't come until it's done.

When it's done and sure it will
What would be left of that resounding fear?
None is seen as troublesome
As when fear is there, still undone.

But come and see the gods invite
You eat with them, partake with might.
Devour the flesh of thickened clout
Then gather the self from inside out.

Mind is an unending rebuttal to Life.
That's the Punishment.
But when seen as That.
Oh boy, that's the Paradise you've been looking for!

Erro

Your Government is Like a Traffic Light

Your Government is Like a Traffic Light

Traffic lights will make road traffic better. Maybe. But here is one quite unseen truth I am so sure about. Traffic lights make people unintelligent and negligent. 

Long before traffic lights were used, drivers would have to look practically at every direction before crossing an intersection. All reflexes are all engaged trying to avoid any life or property loss that might be sustained if sufficient attention is not exercised.

But the affairs of road traffic slowly changed when traffic lights were introduced. Drivers wouldn't have to look at every direction as they do at the absence of a traffic light. All it takes to do most of the time is to look at the front  to the lights and see what color is in there. All reflexes are still engaged but concentrated mainly on the toggles of the colored lights. If it is green, go. If red, stop. They don't have to look to every incoming side since their heads are assuming all other drivers think as they do when it comes to traffic lights.

Now, the change of lights and what they mean for everybody is quite obvious. But what is the quite unseen truth I was talking about? I was talking about the re-packaging of safety measures. The protection of life, limb and property no longer resides on a wholly-engaged self-attentiveness. Rather such critical aspect of road safety is now reduced and re-packaged in a metal box with light bulbs. The existence of traffic lights practically diminishes the ability of the driver to rely much on his overall awareness of what's going on outside his car. The light is all that there is for him. And unfortunately, all other drivers are thinking at the same degree too.

Government is like a traffic light in an obvious sense. As traffic lights have monopolized much of the aspect of traffic safety and people have relied on it more and more, so as government has already assumed responsibility on the welfare of the people and the people have in turn became parasites of the system.
Losing the sense of self is last thing people would accept they do. But this is what happens when people delegate decision-making to few men in government. Desecrating self-respect is what people would never do to their selves. But this what goes on and on every time people give-up hardwork and wait for government dole-outs.

Society has gone mad. Governments and traffic lights are the symptoms of it.

On a Razor's Edge

On a Razor's Edge

Dream catching the dream;
Of catching the One to whom It clings.

Trying to grasp the One that sees;
From behind the eyes of the one that seeks.

The trick is on but thinly veiled.
As thin as edge of a razor's blade.
Oh what a mad mind which plays itself
Plays well itself in the grandest theft!

You want a taste, then cut the chase.
Want it all, then cease the pace;
Look and see that none is done
No matter grand you arrive at none.

Arrive at none is not a wasted plan.
Choices are on but yet none done.
Slap your face and consider this.
That glory is already here as eternally old as peace. 

Who Likes Wrong Moments?

Who Likes Wrong Moments?

There is only Now

As opposed to the common definition of "right moment", "wrong moment" is a term to mean you really want the right moment.

Nobody seems to really like when the timing of a circumstance is off. Always wanting to have the moment of own convenience. But what if wrong moments indeed come, and in truth come more often? What you're going to do about it?

The truth is that there is a trick. The shocker that there are no wrong moments. That's it. Wait. But how come? Come to think for a while. Your wrong moment is just your own personal feeling about what is happening. Ask any person around and your wrong moment is as unique as their own wrong moment (or right moment) at that moment. In short, everything is mental. And since this is just in the mind, there is no truth to it unless you cling to it. There is no wrong moment (nor right moment). There is only the moment whether you see it as wrong or as right.

Now your dismissive reaction, what's the use? Well, there is no use. But that's the cheese. Recognizing that the present moment has no use, no desire, choiceless, or not wanting out of prejudice of anything is a freeing feeling. There is no moment you can call your own.

Hey, but this sounds like a good excuse to screw everybody else and get away with it scot-free. Maybe. But  wait. You missed the thing you are being taught about. That there are no wrong and no right moments for everybody else TOO. Remember? And you know what that means in case you want to to pursue your plans against others.

So having said that what exists only is this moment (and this includes ALL of your prejudices around it), there are two things you need to understand and dig about it deeper into your heart. 1.) There is only the Moment. 2.) You don't own a single moment. The moment owns you.

The Glamour of Death

The Glamour of Death

Death is like the moment before you were born.

Since we are still alive, talking about death always comes from a biased point of view. That's one of the greatest mysteries. We really like talking about things we don't have any experience at all. Like death. We can only make unending one-sided assumptions about it. But since we can agree that death is the ceasing of the moment and never to come back again we can manage to have the joy of discussing it in this term.

"I am afraid to die" is an honest statement; it is as noble as it could be if spoken with utmost reverence to the truth of this ultimate end-game.

Death is humbling. Death is always lurking. It comes always on a single blow and everything disappears. Death comes without convincing. Death arrives in the helpless face of withdrawal. Death takes everyone without warning.

This is the truth: that all that has ever lived has died and all that's living will going to die. Yes, we don't hear a lot of people talking about it like when they do talking about that disgusting neighbor of them. Nor we hear people taking this subject as a worthy pass-time as opposed to lively chat taking place in a night over a flood of wine. Oh, that dress is awesome. The gourmet tastes so good. And during these moments, when mind indulges so much of what it has been desiring for, the moment of ecstatic living runs in the veins like a fire that never runs out of good flame. But soon the flame dies. And when it does, the mind runs to every place and to every corner to look for the burning flame of living again and again all the while refusing to carry all along what lies beneath.

Or maybe, Death is extremely serious stuff you don't talk about in a party. In fact, this is the exact reason why people avoided engaging about it. Or at least subconsciously they do avoid to deal with it. The fact is enormously compelling that death itself is overwhelmingly convincing the mind to reject it outright most of the time.

There is something beyond death (or at least it is imagined to be so). But what's beyond is a complete mystery; a bizarrely unknown realm the mind can't comprehend. And that is why humans are afraid of death. There might be a blood-sucking monster out there. Or a fiery place of unending flesh grilling or a whole new world made-up of oven and toaster.

It happens that society is aimed at cultivating a culture, a mentality, trying to avoid death. Living as long as anyone can is the norm. And the norm is so naturally so for almost everyone that bringing out the topic of death comes like a rain in the Sahara Desert. Vanity, power, money or social status is what occupies human mind most of the time. The cultivation is veered towards keeping and seeking what is taught and thought to be important.

Of course everything comes to end. All end in the box with feet leveled for those who are quite lucky. But understanding that Death is not as horribly murky as it is registered in the mind is a good start. It is the better-half of Living. This is a critical acceptance. Well-being starts here. Can never start anywhere else. The late British Philosopher Allan Watts famously said that death is like a manure. As a manure fertilizes plants, the contemplation on death brings a fruitful  living.

We struggle to keep everything intact. We go out to our daily lives always looking for something to complete our senses. We look for everything except death (naturally it is so). But this is the paradox we refuse to accept. That no matter what, at the end of the day, the most we could end up to is the thing we always run away from. However, either we refuse or not, doesn't really matter. It will not change the end-game.

Oh boy, when the sun set down...a whole new life begins. Death is like the moment before you were born.

My Early Journey to Here and Now

My Early Journey to Here and Now

Mooji said, "I can never tell you who or what I AM. I can only tell you what I AM NOT".

For you who happens to stumble on this, you will feel in your heart what is it that you're reading. I don't need to explain because you will know it in yourself what we are trying to get into.  I want to tell the story how did I arrive here. Simple story. This may serve something or may serve not.

When I was young my Christian parents taught me to believe in God. I did well at it. I served in various church groups of equally God-believing youths. I believed that there was someone who sits in heavenly throne looking and taking care of us.

Everything changed after few years. Out of logical reasons, I came to a point I rejected the existence of God and was once even called evil by a church elderly. For several years, I was agnostic about this thing called God and Church. But never again spent a time debating with anyone who professed he's a die-hard fan of God. I kept my new-found "religion"  on my own. My parents tried to convince me to come back to the "flock", referring to the Church, but I had to politely ignore it by saying I will when time comes.

Then an unforgettable experience came several years after, one early morning while I was still on bed. I thought I was dreaming. I felt like I was pulled up by an intense vortex of blissful sensation. The color was sky blue. And the ecstasy was swirling in an unexplainable serenity. After that I spent one week of strange spiritual high. No problems just pure joy and happiness throughout the day for a week.

When the sensation had gone, I wondered what it was. So I begun to do some research about it to get back at it. My first key words at Google was "how to attain blissfulness". I encountered lots of new ideas like meditation music and guides, i-Doser sounds, etc; then Yoga and Buddha things. And slowly every thing fall in to each own place until I was directed into a website where I first met my online guru Mooji.

Last thing I know is that I am asking this question "WHO AM I?". I think, my self-searching really started on this question. The question was so simple but magical in nature for me. I was drawn into it. And this mind cannot resist to have the enquiry like a wheel that is going on an on an on.

And now here I am......an ardent self-searcher. WHO AM I? You... who are you?