The Endgame is not the Goal

The Endgame is not the Goal

The desire to win any challenge, say in a sport, is what exactly motivates every competitor to train really hard. Coaches will demand that every member of their teams must give all what they got at every practice. Setting an objective lesser than winning the top spot is not a good way to start. Winning the top, knocking all the rest who once coveted the same, is what matters most.

However, if winning is calculably impossible, the competitor is expected to give a good fight so that in the end when he look back, though lost the fight, is still considered a winner in a different sense apart from that of the one holding the winning bag.

Looking at it in subtlety, there lies the intent to reach the goal or the endgame not just merely to win it rather more importantly to reach the finish line with high spirit intact knowing there is contentment as to how ample effort has been well executed.

Apparently, the only reason to fight is to be fulfilled. That is the apparent goal, is it not? To be fulfilled. Not necessarily winning it though winning it may come as a big bonus in itself. The closest motivation is to have that sense of fulfillment at the end.

But there is a problem. If the goal is expected to be found at the endgame, why is it still necessary to spend an effort in competing while under the regulation of time, ie. 4 ten-minute quarters for basketball? Why not just use the classic head and tail game to determine the winner? The reason is perfectly simple that the Endgame is not really the Goal. Much like in an orchestra which is not aimed at banging the last note but rather playing the entire music beautifully, the goal is not found at the end of the game rather the goal is the game while it is being played.

In all wisdom, there is no goal at the end of every challenge. The goal is itself to remain playing as long it is required to go on playing. And because playing is itself the goal, the execution is always perfectly fulfilling because it comes as it is so spontaneously.  That is when the true winner emerges. The dance didn't aim for the last step. The dance number is aimed at the dance itself.

Same thing is true with Life. That is why the Buddha emphasized his teachings not on desires and goals rather on the present play of the moment That is the beauty of realizing that the goal of life is never at the end of the tunnel; never when men will find out where they came from or where they are headed; never when Higgs-Boson particle confirms the Creation or Big Bang; or never when String Theory of Everything  is confirmed to be true.

Now is the Goal. Now is the Endgame. Nothing else.

Guilt by Orgasm: A Wanker's Confession

Guilt by Orgasm: A Wanker's Confession

When I was a teenager, I used to masturbate a lot everyday. My record is seven in one day. And I did get blisters on my penis. And when I shower and begun to use the soap, oh man, that really hurt a lot. But then at every chance in every corner I can find, my hand seems to have its own brain to wank my thing. Jacking-off is often the menu of the day back then.

I was a religious kid and a devoted member of a Christian sect. Every after masturbation I would pray for forgiveness of the sin (which I was thought it is) I have just committed. Imagine it's kinda a meal prayer before every meal. In my case I got it reversed. Jack-off first then pray. But then I grew bored. No. Not on masturbation. Rather, I got bored praying. So eventually I stopped praying and got myself into a masturbation spree everyday for a long time.

Honestly I don't masturbate anymore. Well, uhhhmmmm, I just lied. I still play my own thing. But minus the pray part already and certainly not as frequent. I am already a married man.

My focus now is to tackle the pray part. What made me did the praying? The answer is SIN. Inside every Christian church, I believe, there is a crusade happening. A crusade against lust. Lust is considered as a sin and could amount a ticket to Hell if someone dies with his lustful sins.

Sexual desire is considered lust by the church leaders. And since masturbation is an exhibition of this "sin", this activity should not be tolerated in order for followers to inherit the physical place called Heavens. With the promise of inheriting the Heavens in mind of every Church member, including me, everyone must weigh in themselves what habits they would choose. One is to jack-off or not to jack-off. As for ladies, the term jack-off is not appropriate. Their thing is too delicately small. It is more of like of stroking or fingering. But everything amounts to the same habit called masturbation.

Guilt

The pray part was necessary for me to wash away my sin. I was taught that way. The rule is simple. everyone must have a clean life. And at moment it can't be done, asking for forgiveness is a very important. Violating the rule will result in the automatic feeling of guilt. This guilt feeling is not a good sensation. It is like cursing the own self why it did something it believes should not have done. Guilt was the reason why I did pray every after ejaculation. I need to feel free of guilt of violating a rule of clean living. But that's before.

Sexual Desire a Sin?

Come to think of it. Why does sexual desire have to called a sin? On what axiom they based that assertion? Stealing your neighbor's wife might be obviously offensive to her husband (but glorious to her) and worth a guillotine But hey what you gonna think about while wanking? A female martian? Trying to imagine how a martian vagina looks like would be a huge problem.

Since masturbation includes only a desire, as opposed to getting a quickie with a neighbor's lady, I can't imagine why some people would think sexual desire is not as natural as desiring for food when one is hungry. Humans got to be consistent on this one.

Masturbation is a Sin?

If masturbation is a sin, that would be the biggest reason why I will never stop doing it. My short answer is NO. 

Orgasm is the feeling associated whenever the one masturbating reach the peak of the activity. That is when the mind is blank, the tongue is tied, the eyeballs are tilted in abnormal direction, the jaw is locked, and the testicle is in its most contracted state. I forgot to mention the semen shooting out. Most of these conditions appear at every peak whether in masturbation or having a partner or having a wet dream. My question would then be: At what point does orgasm is different in each of the cases? NONE. Again, humans got to be consistent on this one.

I think I have amply justified why I need no prayers to wash away my sins after masturbating. There is no sin. Besides, sin is just a concept. What I need is a clean napkin to wipe my semen off.

I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist

I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist

I Am Aware, therefore I exist. Of course these are just words. I couldn't have possibly coined them in such fashion without first learning the language. Institutionalized learning also taught me to adhere to grammatical conventions.

No other question have ever bugged me my entire life than the question WHO AM I? I have desperately tried to look for an answer for a long long time. This is the question of existence itself. And I believe there is nothing more productive in life than to contemplate on this stubborn question.

The debate about existence is superficially deep in any side you will look it from. In every manner there is no escape from the fundamental deception posited in the Fallacy of Misplaced Concreteness, wherein conceptual framework is wholly taken as real i.e. resorting to words and intellect (which are products of conventions) and then struggling to explain reality (which is wordless) using these lingual conventions.

Intellect can infinitely assign labels for anything under the sun. There are words allotted for groups, races, preferences, color, degree of pleasure and pain and so on. The intellectual database has a vast array of concepts which can be used to refer to anything. Description is indeed ample.

But the problem is that words can only tell about something. It is not the thing. Words are dual in nature. A word is exclusive for something only. The dilemma then comes when one tries to look for one grand term to refer to the Groups of all groups. What term would that be? Reality? Nothingness? Everything? God? All-encompassing? Big electron? It can't be possible. Most of what we can end up to is surrender to the fundamentally simple idea that there is no term sufficient in itself to describe the one thing we can't.

So what is next?

The answer is intriguing. To put it as honestly as I can, there is NONE. But wait. Verbally it is none. The answer being sought is not another word, not another thought, and not another concept. The answer of WHO AM I? is nothing but an intuition

The answer is so simple. There can be no other way I can do anything without first being aware. Putting in a simpler manner, I can't be in here mumbling without first waking up in the morning. If I didn't, then I am not here. Since the only vantage point that can be verifiably true is my own standpoint and though onlookers may protest they have their own too, I can only assume that they have and there is no way for me to be in their space-time location to prove it. The thing is I am just aware. Nothing more. 

Therefore, to amply satisfy the mind I am cursed to use yet another insufficient term called Awareness. Thus,

I Am Aware, Therefore I Exist or I Am Aware, Therefore I Am .

 .

Mind is an Unending Rebuttal to Life.

Mind is an Unending Rebuttal to Life.

Mind will cease? It will not
It will not until you rot.
Dream loving, love dreaming
But it won't come until it's done.

When it's done and sure it will
What would be left of that resounding fear?
None is seen as troublesome
As when fear is there, still undone.

But come and see the gods invite
You eat with them, partake with might.
Devour the flesh of thickened clout
Then gather the self from inside out.

Mind is an unending rebuttal to Life.
That's the Punishment.
But when seen as That.
Oh boy, that's the Paradise you've been looking for!

Erro

Your Government is Like a Traffic Light

Your Government is Like a Traffic Light

Traffic lights will make road traffic better. Maybe. But here is one quite unseen truth I am so sure about. Traffic lights make people unintelligent and negligent. 

Long before traffic lights were used, drivers would have to look practically at every direction before crossing an intersection. All reflexes are all engaged trying to avoid any life or property loss that might be sustained if sufficient attention is not exercised.

But the affairs of road traffic slowly changed when traffic lights were introduced. Drivers wouldn't have to look at every direction as they do at the absence of a traffic light. All it takes to do most of the time is to look at the front  to the lights and see what color is in there. All reflexes are still engaged but concentrated mainly on the toggles of the colored lights. If it is green, go. If red, stop. They don't have to look to every incoming side since their heads are assuming all other drivers think as they do when it comes to traffic lights.

Now, the change of lights and what they mean for everybody is quite obvious. But what is the quite unseen truth I was talking about? I was talking about the re-packaging of safety measures. The protection of life, limb and property no longer resides on a wholly-engaged self-attentiveness. Rather such critical aspect of road safety is now reduced and re-packaged in a metal box with light bulbs. The existence of traffic lights practically diminishes the ability of the driver to rely much on his overall awareness of what's going on outside his car. The light is all that there is for him. And unfortunately, all other drivers are thinking at the same degree too.

Government is like a traffic light in an obvious sense. As traffic lights have monopolized much of the aspect of traffic safety and people have relied on it more and more, so as government has already assumed responsibility on the welfare of the people and the people have in turn became parasites of the system.
Losing the sense of self is last thing people would accept they do. But this is what happens when people delegate decision-making to few men in government. Desecrating self-respect is what people would never do to their selves. But this what goes on and on every time people give-up hardwork and wait for government dole-outs.

Society has gone mad. Governments and traffic lights are the symptoms of it.

On a Razor's Edge

On a Razor's Edge

Dream catching the dream;
Of catching the One to whom It clings.

Trying to grasp the One that sees;
From behind the eyes of the one that seeks.

The trick is on but thinly veiled.
As thin as edge of a razor's blade.
Oh what a mad mind which plays itself
Plays well itself in the grandest theft!

You want a taste, then cut the chase.
Want it all, then cease the pace;
Look and see that none is done
No matter grand you arrive at none.

Arrive at none is not a wasted plan.
Choices are on but yet none done.
Slap your face and consider this.
That glory is already here as eternally old as peace. 

Who Likes Wrong Moments?

Who Likes Wrong Moments?

There is only Now

As opposed to the common definition of "right moment", "wrong moment" is a term to mean you really want the right moment.

Nobody seems to really like when the timing of a circumstance is off. Always wanting to have the moment of own convenience. But what if wrong moments indeed come, and in truth come more often? What you're going to do about it?

The truth is that there is a trick. The shocker that there are no wrong moments. That's it. Wait. But how come? Come to think for a while. Your wrong moment is just your own personal feeling about what is happening. Ask any person around and your wrong moment is as unique as their own wrong moment (or right moment) at that moment. In short, everything is mental. And since this is just in the mind, there is no truth to it unless you cling to it. There is no wrong moment (nor right moment). There is only the moment whether you see it as wrong or as right.

Now your dismissive reaction, what's the use? Well, there is no use. But that's the cheese. Recognizing that the present moment has no use, no desire, choiceless, or not wanting out of prejudice of anything is a freeing feeling. There is no moment you can call your own.

Hey, but this sounds like a good excuse to screw everybody else and get away with it scot-free. Maybe. But  wait. You missed the thing you are being taught about. That there are no wrong and no right moments for everybody else TOO. Remember? And you know what that means in case you want to to pursue your plans against others.

So having said that what exists only is this moment (and this includes ALL of your prejudices around it), there are two things you need to understand and dig about it deeper into your heart. 1.) There is only the Moment. 2.) You don't own a single moment. The moment owns you.